The Unbearable Consequences of Chocolate

I made no resolutions for the new year. I iterated vague hopes to myself. The usual, eat less, exercise more. But I knew that if hope springs eternal, my bad habits are forever.

So I guess it was no surprise to me, let alone anyone else, that this last Friday at 10 or so p.m. I took a bite into a hunk of Ritter Chocolate, with almonds. Yum--until releasing my carnivore's grasp of the delicacy--I realized that there was a gaping hole in one of my front-ish teeth. Well, a fake tooth, a crown. Going, going, where the heck is it!?

I thought I swallowed it. Yuck! But no, it was, rather, impaled on the Ritter bar, a perfect perpendicular.

Friday night of a holiday weekend. Goodie. I left a "not medically urgent, but cosmetically urgent message" for my dentist. The remnant of tooth on which the crown was lodged I discovered later, looking more like a petrified piece of wood than anything human related. I pause here for a reflection on the ephemeral nature of our life and the crumbling reality of our middle aged bodies.

For some Friday night is date night. For me, it was finding temporary tooth cement night at the CVS. The directions said that sometimes, depending on the break, the cement doesn't work. In my life, sometimes means, "often". Ok, I am not complaining. I am very lucky in my life. Blessed. But I was not pleased. Which was probably good because then maybe I would not smile for the rest of the weekend revealing my Ma Kettle mouth.

Len Speaks, Mr. Anonymous of the Barbara Judith Apartments and I were going to visit a friend living in the wilds of Monrovia. So off I went with a partial cotton ball lodged in the cavernous space--a not so elegant solution when one is eating homemade pizza and cannoli and drinking red wine.

I rose above my sense of impaired beauty (at this stage of the game, turns out to be easy) and removed the cotton and enjoyed the evening's movie, "The Godfather" prime on a 63 inch plasma HD 3D TV, and since it was dark, my appearance was happily irrelevant.

And today my dentist's office had a cancellation, and I spent a lovely two plus hours being filed, ground, polished and fitted with a temporary all while gazing at the Hollywood Sign visible from the office windows. What a life!

In my refrigerator are the remains of an, as yet uneaten, chocolate bar.

If you were betting, would you think I have sworn off another late night munch? I guess it really is that the consequences of chocolate remain bearable. . .at least for now.