The Benefit of Too Many Notes

       You might recall the line from Amadeus where the Emperor comments on Mozart's musical offerings with the dismissive "too many notes". And yet, those creative detailed notes were the beginning of an illustrious career.
 

In a completely different context, my immediate reaction to all the possibilities of my life post a 25 year job, has occasionally been the same, "too many notes" of potentiality.

Some are those I have presented to myself, like taking a voice over class, downloading a script program for script writing I have yet to do and the odd contribution to some charity; others are the suggestions of others, "you'd be a good mediator", "you could be a canon lawyer", "you could do malpractice defense", "you could teach", "you could go back to finish your psychology degree", "you can take another degree".
 
The truth is, I can only do one or two of these things with any focus. Thus, during the last days, I have found my head nearly literally spinning as I try to decide where I should throw my energies. The result is that I put off throwing them anywhere, and then feel a little guilty that I am not making progress. Of course, to where am I directing this hypothetical progress?

    
I cannot recall if I wrote this anywhere, or if I did, where (as one of the things I am doing is writing for other locales, accepted or not), but I feel as if I am pressed to decide not merely on some activity, but on the larger frame, between the secular and the spiritual. Or, let me add, questioning, and even bargaining over, whether both are possible concomitantly.
 

 It seems that the most religious of my brothers and sisters (that is the ones whose actions indicate a visible decided pursuit of faith, dedication to some form of dedicated or consecrated or communitiy life) foreswear almost frantically (to my observation) any of the world. Where the average among try to be in the world, but not of it, they seem not to want to be in it. I admit to distrusting this a bit, and wonder how one knows whether it comes from a free acceptance of God's Will or a concession to one's own discomfort with the world and hiding from it, not, I think, perhaps self-servingly, what God would want. Cannot the secular and spiritual, the truly Christian spiritual work together? I know of the Third Orders and have somewhat investigated if that is where I would find an answer to this question. Another in the surfeit of notes which I may play.  Along with my piano if I ever get it tuned again!


I suppose the point of this entry is to note (accidental play on words) that all of these opportunities, while a bit anxiety producing are also part of growth of what turns out to be a still energetic middle aged woman and I suspect, will have many benefits--once I settle on something after listening hard and not fearing to answer a call, if there is one.